After numerous attempts to get fired via offensive xenophobic remarks made on Coach’s Corner, ex-host Don Cherry doesn’t know what made his recent comment about immigrants and poppies finally fire-worthy. 

Cherry told MJPSatire that this “poppy debacle” was part of an exit strategy he’s had in the works for years. Noteworthy prior attempts included advocating for climate change, joking that eating seal meat was for “savages” and “barbarians,” and just being outright sexist. 

Being fired eliminates the non-compete clause in his contract with Sportsnet, giving him free reign to explore other career opportunities. Now, Cherry is searching for a position that better aligns with his personal views, and allows him to express himself freely. Cherry is considering running for the PPC leadership, as he “fits the job description perfectly.”

Whatever his next venture, Cherry wishes to stay close to home. Should he have to relocate, his only concern is how to transport all his eccentric suits from his home in Mississauga, Ontario. On the other hand, Canadians’ only concern moving forward is the question of which outspoken, politically incorrect man will fill Cherry’s seat this Saturday night?

This piece is part of the MJPS Satire section. Although potentially based on true events, it is not intended to accurately portray reality. Opinions expressed through this article are solely those of the author and do not reflect the position of the McGill Journal of Political Studies or the Political Science Students’ Association. 

Featured image by Lauren Hill