UK Labour Party Leader Jeremy Corbyn and Canadian Conservative Party Leader Andrew Scheer recently joined the same support group following their embarrassing electoral defeats in each country’s most recent election. In both cases, top aides enrolled the leaders into the group for Leaders of the Opposition who Suffered Electoral Results that were Shit (LOSERS). The LOSERS group offers a supportive ego-boosting environment for embarrassed (former) leaders while conveniently banishing the leader from the public eye. 

An inside source from within Scheer’s party told MJPSatire that this move was months in the making. The party allegedly realized that “something had to be done” when Scheer kept saying the federal election loss was a “win for the party,” when clearly it was not. 

The Labour Party has denied our request for an interview.

Calls for Scheer’s resignation began the night of the Canadian federal election after the leader was unable to capitalize on Liberal misfortunes. Scheer’s resignation was officially announced Thursday, amid allegations he was using Conservative party funds to pay for his children’s private school education. 

Corbyn additionally announced he was stepping down from the British Labour Party after the Tories reclaimed their parliamentary majority, also on Thursday; this constituted the Labour Party’s worst showing in nearly 100 years. 

Despite having polar opposite policies and beliefs, perhaps the two have more in common than they initially thought. To begin, both leaders’ domestic unpopularity will perhaps be an ice-breaker once the support group begins, potentially even setting the stage for friendship. Reports from other members of the LOSERS group say that Corbyn and Scheer have even bonded over surprising discoveries of common ground on policy: both leaders want citizens’ money to pay for their children’s education.

This piece is part of the MJPS Satire section. Although potentially based on true events, it is not intended to accurately portray reality. Opinions expressed through this article are solely those of the author and do not reflect the position of the McGill Journal of Political Studies or the Political Science Students’ Association. 

Featured image by Lauren Hill